2009 – A Year Of Change Alright…

I can’t imagine, and don’t think I want to frankly, one calendar year having more significance and life change in it for me than 2009 did. As I sit here on the morning of new years eve thinking back over this past year, I’m astonished at all that has transpired in the last 12 months.

Let me recap to give you an idea of what I mean.

• In January I was still employed as a 1099 contract employee for a startup company in DC.  They had just begun having financial difficulties and in August the previous year, our paychecks started coming late – as in weeks late.  So we were on edge for what the new year would bring.  In addition, as an owner in the company (250,000 shares of stock), I was working all the time trying to do my part to save the company, my stake in it and insure a steady paycheck.
• In February, I broke down and after 7 years of being successfully self employed, I started looking for full time employment as a search/web/online marketer…casually at this point.  Started getting excited about the possibility of working for someone else again and having a normal life not filled with business ownership/entrepreneurial headaches.  Got my hopes up about a position here in town and thought I’d be a shoe-in…didn’t get it.
• Also in February, I bought a Mac computer after having used a PC for almost 15 years.  This was a result of my hard drive crashing on my PC and me losing pretty much everything I had on it, which for a digital geek like me was a lot…all my kids pictures, tax returns the works.  GONE.  I am too much of a geek not to have had a backup hard drive, and in fact I had one, just didn’t have it hooked up and working.  UGH.  That was tough…by the way…once you go Mac, you’ll never go back!
• By mid March, I was at emotional and physical burnout.  I gained tons of weight and started noticing things with my health that concerned me…so I backed off a bit.  What I didn’t know was that mid February (for January’s payroll) would be the last time I’d get paid again till June/July.  I learned that if you KNOW you aren’t going to make any money you can plan better than if you don’t know until it doesn’t get deposited week after week after week.  UGH.  Financial problems started mounting albeit small at this point and savings was almost gone.
• Also in March, our large worship team split into two worship teams and I was blessed to be able to lead one of them.  The announcement was made and our practices would soon start along with our church moving into our own building.  Very exciting time for the church and our worship ministry.
• In April, after making it in our new building just before Easter, our worship experiences were fantastic and the building was a hub bub of activity for the Kingdom.  It was an awesome thing to see!
• Also in April I started looking for a full time salaried position with increasing fervor and urgency.  Had no idea I would send out over 220 resumes to find a position!
• In May I started working part time in downtown Columbus doing PPC for a $250,000 per month Google AdWords spend for a client for a 30 day contract.  He actually offered me a full time position, but not for the salary I wanted so this was a temporary arrangement and thank goodness I did that cause he wound up cheating me out of $550 and breaking our contract.  It’s amazing to me what people will do and then try to rationalize it with the infamous last words of “it’s nothing personal, just business”.
• Also in the end of May, the CEO for the company that hadn’t paid me for almost 2 months at this point told me I was hijacking her company by not donating 40 hours per week of my time to her company any longer.  Actually, foolishly, I was coming very close to 40…around 30-35.
• In June I had a breakthrough spiritually at our church’s men’s retreat.  Very bad time for me, but God broke through and changed some things in my quiet times, journaling and spiritual journey.  Very powerful experience for sure.
• Also, in early June after participating in a small group centered around the prophetic gifts I started a blog to journal what God did day by day with me and the prophetic gifts called WatchForTheDay.com.  I never had a hunch that eventually this blog would turn into a worship and spiritual gifts blog called HandsForWar.com (which you’re reading now).
• In mid June, I was contacted by a company in Cleveland about selling search engine marketing services in an outdoor sales role.  I pursued the position more out of desperation than of it being a good fit, but was offered the position.  I don’t say this often, but I distinctly felt like this was NOT something God wanted me to pursue.  So did my wife Kim and so I turned down the position.  Honestly, I look back now and wonder if that was a mistake or not, but if so, I completely misread God’s direction…which, of course, is possible.
• In late June, not more than 2 months after my worship team and I started playing together, we had a practice on the 22nd that I will remember for the rest of my life.  It was an amazing experience from God and I was so thankful for how God was gelling our team both musically and relationally so fast.  On top of that, there was dancing on the stage, tears and jumping in the spirit…I sent the team an email that I’ll put an excerpt from here:

…I know you’re all busy and the enemy is pressing in on some of you really hard. I know he’s pressing in on me extremely hard right now too. But I just have to say this…I am SO encouraged and blessed when I see you press into Jesus more when things get tough (or when they’re good for that matter). I get so encouraged when I know you’re all working so hard on these songs during the week…sacrificing time with your family to practice on your own and then come to practice again. I’m so encouraged when I know you’re lifting each other up in prayer and interceding on behalf of each other and finally I’m so encouraged when I see your model of worship…it’s reaches a boiling point sometimes and when it does, it’s called “reckless abandon”. God needs more worshipers…He needs more sold out madly, deeply in love with Him, as for me and my house, no compromise, no holding back, not going through the motions giving everything they have, humble yet confident in who they are in Christ Jesus Christians…and you my friends fit the bill perfectly!

Stay in the word, stay on your face, stay humble and stay sold out. And by the way….thanks. I really mean it…you all make my job as the leader of this team SO easy. But what’s way cool is you also make it one of the parts of my life I thank God for cause it draws me closer to Him.

WOW!

• In late June, early July, it really looked like we were going to get to stay in Columbus with the job/business front.  At the end of the first week of July I was supposed to get a full paycheck for the first time in almost 4 months and it was 25% short and I had had enough.  I was a 1099 contract employee and was owed almost $30k in back wages so I demanded half of it payable immediately or I would have to stop all work.  Honestly this is the place I think most people would have found themselves months before this, but at any rate, I did it.  The company acted ruthlessly and very unethically which I fully expected by this point.   I still have not seen a dollar of the money owed me.  Still praying for justice as the widow who relentlessly asked the judge for help did.
• Shortly after ending my time with the start-up company, I had an idea for providing online marketing in video form on a membership site for a fraction of the monthly cost of hiring an SEO/Online Marketing professional.  I thought it was going to be huge and so me and two other friends took a stab at it and started the company that would be known as Eureka Web Solutions with zero capital and a very short window for the company to be pronounced a success or failure.  Also, I touched base with a business man in Oregon that I had some previous interactions with and we started talking about what was going on in each others businesses.  He told me of the potential to co-host an online marketing radio show with him and I thought it sounded fun and profitable.  So we began discussions of what would be known as The Business Net Marketing Hour radio show on the Voice America Network.
• Late in August we had our first Night of Worship at our church and it was great on many levels.  The night itself was amazing and was intended for God to move powerfully in the areas of spiritual gifts.  However, it was a long time coming.  I had been wanting to do one of these for over a year and a half and it was just not the right time.  So this night was powerful in that regard as well.
• BUT, most of all, the night was a night I’ll not soon forget where God and my walk with Him is concerned.  The months of no income and unemployment were wearing awfully hard on our finances and also on Kim and I personally and emotionally.  We were approaching the end of August and did not have the money for our mortgage payment for August.  We have been through some pretty bad financial times and had worked really hard over the last 5-7 years to rebuild our credit and had done so.  So we didn’t want a 30 day late on our mortgage.  BUT, we didn’t want to short circuit God moving in our life by borrowing the money, so on the night of Thursday August 20, 2009, Kim and I stayed up for what seemed like forever, but was probably only around an hour or 2 and prayed to God to show us a little bit more of His plan for our life.  Where did He want us to go, what did He want us to do, and how was He going to provide for us (rather what we were specifically praying for was that He just unveil a small portion of His plan for us).  At the end of that prayer, I asked God by the end of the next day (Friday) that He provide us with more insight into the future and more so than any other prayer in my life, I felt SURE He had answered my spirit…ok, just wait and see.  We closed our time of prayer and I shared my certainty of more insight with Kim and she shared how at peace she felt after we prayed.  The next day came and as the night of worship drew closer I heard nothing from God…NOTHING.  I got at the church early that evening and spoke with my pastor and he asked me what I really wanted to do professionally if I could…meaning if money were not a problem what would I do.  And I answered like I always had…worship.   He suggested I speak with a Vineyard worship leader in our area about how to become a vocational worship leader.  I went through the rest of the night of worship and the next 2 weeks thinking God had not answered my prayers in regards to showing me what the future looked like.  It was devastating cause I thought he had abandoned me.  In fact he hadn’t I just hadn’t realized He was showing me He wanted me to be a worship leader at some point.
• Throughout August and the beginning part of September, our business struggled.  We had some clients, but not nearly enough and we knew our business model that we dreamed of was not what we were doing.  We were in survival mode just taking any contract/clients we could  to stay alive.  Not good.  We were sinking.
• Late in September the job search has not returned anything on the investment of time sending out resumes.  Then in late September early October the ONLY bites I started getting where out of state.  I reluctantly moved ahead with them simply because I had to.  No choice, we were hurting worse financially than we ever had.
• On 9/23 I took the step that my pastor had recommended and I emailed that worship leader if he’d meet me for coffee.  We got together on 9/28 and I left that meeting knowing that I was someday, if not now, someday, going to be a full time worship leader vocationally.  God had fanned the flame from a glowing ember to a raging fire and I just knew.  This was the answer I so desperately wanted from God on 8/21.
• So the next day I made a “worship version” of my resume and started sending it out to churches across the country.  At that time I opened up my entire job search nationwide seriously (I had been applying to jobs in other states but not regularly).
• Also in late September, early October, Kim (my lovely wife) after being home with and home schooling our kids for over 10 years, took a part time job as a teller with a local credit union.  It was a HUGE change for our family and the first time the kids (10 and 7) had seen their mom work outside the home in their life!
• In October (on the first actually) I applied at a church that would later interview me and then have me come lead worship near Pittsburgh, PA.  This seemingly made sense, since that’s where my wife’s family lived and if we moved back there we’d at least be close to her family and then my parents could eventually move and we’d be close to everyone.  We thought we might have an idea of what God was up to.  We were wrong.  More on that later.
• It was also in October that I found out things financially were going from REALLY bad to even worse.  We owed taxes from 2008 and since we had burned through our savings we couldn’t pay them.  By now our house was almost 3 months past due.
• In late October my dad’s brother (my uncle) passed away.  He had been sick for quite some time, but it was still hard.  I loved him so much.
• With possible positions in Pittsburgh, and Cincinnati at this point and no where else in the country, I’m thinking we’re going to move to Pittsburgh and I’ll be a full time worship leader.  On 10/28, I get an email from a company out of Cleveland, OH asking for a phone interview.  Also the church in PA asked me to lead worship on 11/1.
• November brought a ton of change.  On 11/1 I led worship for the church in PA, it went wonderfully.  I was VERY excited about the position and thought they MIGHT just select me….at least I was hoping.   Also on 11/2 I had a phone interview for an Sr. SEO Analyst position in Cleveland.  It went well.  The next day they asked me for a face to face interview in Cleveland on 11/4.  I went, it went well.  I liked the company and for the first time, thought, God do you want me in Cleveland?
• I was supposed to know by mid December about the church job and beginning of December about the Cleveland marketing job.  The race was on.  Meanwhile, the nights of worship and my involvement in the worship ministry at our church just kept getting better and better.  God was teaching me so much and loving on us bigtime every time we gathered to praise Him.
• In November I applied for and got a Honey Baked Ham delivery truck driver position.  I went to training, but never started cause it was supposed to be at nights and they switched it to days.
• Also in November, I started working at a Verizon Wireless Premium Retailer franchise store as a retail sales clerk.  Last year at that time I was earning over $130k annually and now, $10/hr.  It wasn’t very hard on my ego (not as hard as I thought it would be) cause it was the only choice we had.
• Also in November I took a preaching class that my pastor offered a handful of us and according to him I did quite well with my first two sermons.  So he asked me to give the talk at our annual Christmas dinner.  This started me thinking about someday being a pastor which was the first time in my life I’d EVER thought about becoming a pastor…ever.  I kinda like the idea frankly but it is still a scary thought for some reason.
• On 12/4 I got a call from the company in Cleveland telling me that I was their man, but they were waiting on budget approval.  Hurry up and wait some more Jason…story of my life!
• On Friday, December 18th I received the official offer letter from the company in Cleveland for the SEO job.  I gladly accepted and the next day my wife and I spent 17 hours in the car driving around Cleveland looking at neighborhoods and for a place to live.  It was a frustrating day to say the least cause I expected that if God wanted us in Cleveland, and apparently he did, that He would pave the way and work things out miraculously on where we could live and go to church and all that.  That day, all He was interested in was showing us all of the areas we DIDN’T want to live!
• And finally today is 12/31/2009.  The last day of an amazing year – not the best year for me and my family – but definitely in some ways VERY VERY good.  Tomorrow my wife and I go back to Cleveland and are going to secure an extended stay hotel and hopefully a house to rent for the next year.

So as I look back on 2009, it was not one of the best years of my life by any means.  HOWEVER, in so many ways, God was faithful and with so many aspects of my life coming to an end (being self employed, working all the time and having too much of my identity made up with what I do for a living), so many better things are just beginning such as steady employment at a good company that will take care of my family, a normal 40 hour work week, uninterrupted vacations with my family, ample time off to regroup and rest as well as better financial health.

2010 is going to be a great year!  I’m excited about what the Lord has in store for us and I’m excited about being a better father and husband, but most of all I’m excited for what God wants to do with the Koeppe family in 2010 in and around Cleveland, OH!

Happy New Year!